14- FBA Meets Alton in Marietta! Cool Beans!

Last Saturday, Holliebrooke brought Flat BA to a fund raiser for the Cobb County Library Foundation held at Walker School.

FBA really liked that school...a lot!
Guess who else was there?

Yes, ladies and germs, it's Alton himself. Now, FBA didn't actually get a picture with Alton this time, but he told me it didn't matter. FBA still had fun listening to Alton talk about things like "Chicken doesn't have fingers!" LOL.

Here are a few Briners who hung out at the Walker School. There's Rachel from Marietta and Melissa (GeorgiaPeach), who seems to have lost her way and now lives in Birmingham, Alabama! And, then there's Holliebrooke, who rode in with FBA from South Carolina.

There were a MESS of others who were there, too. There was Tigger, and Liza (pronounced Leeza), Railfan, and HunterAP and his wife. (Hope I didn't miss anyone.)

And, rumor has it that....Widdi Turner was there, too. If that name doesn't ring a bell, that'd be "Frances Anderson, Alton Brown's Biggest Fan."

I'll let Hollie take it from here...
Hi kids! Hollie, here.
Okay THAT photo is just Melissa and me being goofy after the event.

Then we stopped at Cool Beans...because, well, we could!

Flat BA enjoyed his iced mocha and he regaled us with tales - including the fact that part of the espresso show might have been filmed there.

Back home in Greer, South Carolina, FBA just wouldn't hush until I got him some BBQ.

Flat BA ordered the all-you-can eat ribs. He somehow managed to eat two whole plates! (And, he made sure to eat his veggies. Mac and cheese and hush puppies are veggies, right?) He can sure pack it away for a little guy! And, he still had room for the Sweet Potato Crunch! Now THAT alone is worth the trip to Mutt's!

Finally, just before packing his little bags to send him off to the East Coast, I brought FBA to work with me so I could explain what I do for a living. He was making wise cracks and making me laugh.

I'm kinda sad to see the little guy go!
I has lots of fun with him!! :)
--Hollie
One last picture.
FBA says this one is special.
He just grins, takes a deep breath, and says, "Ah...barbecue!"

Stay tuned for more adventures with Flat AB and Flat BA.
"Same Flat time, same Flat channel."
--Dana

13- FAB lands in the Big Apple, Meets the Big Guy, and Plans to Take over the World?

Top O' The World, Ma!

The NY area Briners, with Flat AB in tow, headed to NYC for the two Alton book signings this week. From all accounts, FAB was fairly well behaved - but he DID insist on climbing to the top of the Empire State building for a better view of the city.

(As usual, some of the pics have larger versions if you click on them.)

But, let's start from the beginning.
Once upon a time, there was a book signing. Aunt Vicky packed FAB up, being sure to bring his raincoat (you just never know), and they hopped a train to the Big Apple. Now this was totally cool since #1 FAB had never been on a train before...and #2, FAB had never been to NYC.

Here's the book, "Feasting on Asphalt:The River Run"
It's available for purchase through Food Network... and your local bookstore, too. And, Season 2 DVDs of Feasting on Asphalt (6 episodes plus bonus materials) are now also available through Food Network.

Vicky met up with a handful of Briners - some of whom are pictured below. (FAB told me was "they were soooo fun!") FAB said "that SlamDunkPro was as tall as the Empire State building!"

So, after standing in - wait this is NY - standing on line for long time FAB finally caught a glimpse of Alton. (Alton walked from the front of the line to the back, saying hi and checking it out.) Then they waited some more. Finally, Vicky and FAB got up to see Alton. "Hi, I'm Alton," he said. That was nice.

Vicky and Alton chatted a bit. Something about Vicky's coat. I mean Alton's coat. And, something about E-bay. LOL. FAB said that Alton said something like, "I miss that coat." And, they both laughed. Alton saw FAB and said, "And, you have HIM." Alton was kind to pose for a pic with FAB and Vicky.
Oh, here's a picture of Vicky waiting in line for the event. Ignore the disembodied hand. No, that wasn't Thing. And, Thing, no, it wasn't a girl. Well, it WAS a girl hand...but she was connected to the rest of a girl and no, she doesn't wanna date you. Sorry.
After the signing, the group of Briners went their separate ways. SDP and Vicky headed down to Chelsea Market - you know - where FN has its headquarters. I don't think there are any photos though, because it started to rain. SDP was careful to keep FAB from melting.
While FAB hasn't been to NYC before, apparently he HAS been doing a good amount of business there. After letting out a giant, "Muhahahaha!" he showed Vicky and SDP where he keeps his secret plans to take over FN. He's only kidding. We think. But, that sign is pretty neat.
Then SDP and Vicky ate at Popburger and eventually hopped their trains back home. Well they did stop at all sorts of cool culinary shops, but FAB said he was tired so he spent most of that time napping in SDP's briefcase.

Hey, I've saved some of the best for last. Here's a pic of the NY area Briner folks - some old, some new. Left to right: Marge and her 2 kids, Closet Kitchenette, Slamdunkpro, sigma_greg, vickatina, Babylon1023 and Hol1023.

FAB waved goodbye and headed back home with SDP for his next adventure.
Have fun FAB.
Be safe!
--Dana

12- Flat BA Arrives in South Carolina on way to Georgia

I received the following message from Flat BA.

D...arrived in SC...looking for Q...then heading to GA.
--FBA

Flat BA is not much for chattin' when there's South Carolina barbecue in sight. I'll fill in the blanks.

He's currently traveling with Holliebrooke -
(That's Hollie with an IE - not Holly with a Y)

Then over....to...Marietta.
To meet up with Alton.

Sidenote:
Stay tuned for some pics of Flat BA's vacation in N.C. and Seattle.
--Dana

11- 30,000 Pounds of Bananas.Yep, Time for PA!

Sure, when you think about Pennsylvania you might think of the Liberty Bell. Or, Rocky.

Me? Well, I'm reminded of Harry Chapin's humorous song about a semi-truck filled with 30,000 pounds of bananas heading downhill at a rapid pace. Familiar?

But, I digress.
This isn't about mashed bananas....
But rather mashed peanuts and apples!

So, Flat AB arrived in PA and had a play date with Vicky's girls - Amanda, 12, and Michelle, 10.
Here's their story in their words *grin*
--Dana

Flat AB arrived at our house last Wednesday, safe and sound. He likes to sleep in our computer desk drawer, where he can stay warm and flat.

Today, Easter Sunday, we took Flat AB to our Grandma's house to visit for the holiday. While we were there, we cooked some treats with him!!

First, we made a black apron for him to wear. We didn't want him to get his clothes messy while working in the kitchen. We included it in his travel package.
Then Michelle made AB's Microwave Peanut Butter Fudge....
Here, Flat AB is helping to stir the peanut butter and butter together.
(Notice he has his own Flat AB-sized whisk!)

Then he made AB's 10 Minute Applesauce with Amanda. He helped to smoosh the apples by jumping in and stomping on them!!

And here, Flat AB and the girls enjoying the results of their work!

That's all for now...
There will be more once he starts on his journey with Vicky to NYC...
To see the real AB again!
Only 4 days to go!!

--Michelle and Amanda (and, Flat AB!)

10- Eastbound and Down...Flat AB's Loaded up and Truckin'

Actually, Flat AB will be training, not truckin', but you get the idea.

Monday morning the little guy waved goodbye to his bro and headed off to Pennsylvania. His agenda has some playtime penciled-in with some adorable young ladies and just maybe some food fun will be included.

Oh, that and a train ride to NYC to meet the big guy for a book signing or two.
I almost forgot.
*Wink*

Off you go, little man.
Be safe.

And, remember your "please and than you's."
--Dana

9- South by Northwest - Flat BA Heads Out!

After the Chicago AB event - which will have updated photos as they roll in - the Flat brothers parted ways, heading to different coasts.

Flat BA hit the road on Monday, heading to North Carolina.
After a short stint (hopefully gettin' in a little quality time with a sweet 8 year old young man), he'll be heading up to Seattle for vacation.

Seattle...rain...Ack!
*Please God, even if it IS Easter weekend, let's not have a Flat recreation of the Wizard of Oz. "I'm melllllting!"*

Look for N.C. and Washington photos in the near future.

See you later, Flat BA.
And, wear your galoshes!
--Dana

8- I Met the Real Alton in Chicago! Neat-O!

Woo Hoo!
Yesterday my brother, Flat BA, and I met the real Alton appearing in Chicago.
(Click on the pics to enlarge.)

Once he warmed up to the idea, Alton posed for LOTS of funny pics.

(That's Guru behind Alton. Golden Girl's mom is in brown. And, I'm pretty sure the "sweet as tea" woman with the book is Alton's publicist, Athalie White.)

Alton had us cracking up!

He got a kick out our photo albums and saw pictures of when we posed with Katie and Dianna. He said their sockpuppets were "Reeealy nice."

Then he was kind enough to sign my brother Flat BA and me.
Oh, and each of our albums, too.

We had lots photographers clicking away.
Matter of fact, that one is the official photographer for the Museum and Science and Industry web page.

About Alton's Science Talk
Backing up a bit. My brother and I listened to Alton give a talk about science and food. He showed us 4 molecules and explained "how they do their voodoo" in cooking. It might sound simple, but he said understanding this was really important. So, I got comfortable and listened really well.

Alton said that water...wets.
(As this point, Flat BA said, "Duh!"
I told him to HUSH.)

Then Alton said that fats...slide.
(I held my hand over Flat BA's mouth.)

Carbohydrates...build.
(Flat BA nodded. He has carbo-loaded before long bike rides before.)

And, lastly, the fun one.
Proteins...tangle.

Huh?

Well, Alton explained that one, saying that basically, using heat, or acid, you can made proteins wind up tight or loosen up and get all chilled out.

Neat.

Alton said a lot of other stuff and then we kids (and a few adults) were able to get their questions answered. (The museum let us write down some questions on cards before Alton's talk.)

We met Chef Louisa Chu, too. Alton said she was a judge on Iron Chef America. We love that show!

(My brother and I didn't know she was a Paris trained chef. Flat BA and I just knew her as the very funny and insightful lady who "interviewed" him "Mr. Lipton" style.

She looked familiar but we couldn't place her. Then Flat BA remembered...that she was the "fixer" on Anthony Bourdain's Paris episode of No Reservations.)

We also hung out with some of the Chicagoland Alton fans who call themselves Briners.

(Briners. It's an unusual nickname, but it has to do with the fact that Alton likes to brine various kinds of protein before cooking. And, if you have never brined your Thanksgiving day turkey, well, you're missing out on the maximum moist and meaty mouthfuls offered by Tom or Tina Turkey.)

From left to right, there's Dana, Golden Girl, Guru, and JJ.

Wow, this was a fantastic day!
We are so glad Alton had fun meeting us.
-Flat AB and Flat BA

7- The Flat Brothers Work a Shift in the Kitchen

Flat AB went to work tonight with Dana. He said he could show her how to make a nice pizza dough and how to look at the "window" so see how the gluten was coming along.

Jodi, one of the chefs, was very accommodating and offered to let Flat BA help her with her chowder. Then Jodi made a fatal error and went to the walk-in. In no time flat the little guy had reached for the Tobasco and was set to add some capsaiacin to the clammy goodness.


Have no fear, Jodi saved the soup. And, she put Flat BA on KP duty after that stunt...finely chopping 10 lbs of onions.

Rest up boys.
You hit the museum tomorrow.

6- Brothers Hit the Chicago suburbs!

Flat AB arrived today to the envy of his brother, Flat BA, who didn't get to go to California.

While Flat AB adjusted from his jet lag....we made calls to retrieve his little Calphalon pan back from the TSA. (Geesh it was 10 centimeters! Not exactly a threat to National Security, folks.)

Successful, we headed over to the house of my pals Jo and Bruce.
Their daughters LOVE Alton Brown. Sadly, the Saturday show sold out before they could get tickets for the whole family.

Dana: I met him last year.
Girls: NO!
Dana: Yep, have a picture.
Girls: O-M-G!

(They actually said "O.M.G."
I thought girls only did that in the phone commercials.)

In no time flat, pardon the pun, we whipped up a quick bread dough.

Hoping.
Wishing.
Waiting.

Till, finally!
"Houston, we have...YEAST!"

Dianna, 11, and Katie, 7 and 1/2 had a good time hanging out with the little noicemakers. It's a good thing Katie knew how to use the fancy infrared thermometer - getting the temp right brought more yeast to the party! And, a big thank you to Dianna who made us PB sammies while we waited for the guests to arrive.

Jo made friends with this one. I think that one was a girl because she hiccuped more than...well, you know. Course, it might have been male - certainly was a fun guy. Nevermind.

Playing with our new pals, we completely lost track of Flat BA. Following the sound of his motorcycle, we caught him just as he was spicing up our bread dough. Thanks BA, it doesn't need any pepper.
Once the party ran outta gas, the Flat brothers said their goodbyes to Katie and Dianna. The girls waved "so long" to the boys and watched as AB stood in the driveway waiting for BA to circle back and let him actually get on the bike this time. That BA...

Stay tuned, the Flat brothers are scheduled to meet the real AB this Saturday at the Museum of Science and Industry. Flat AB can't wait to hear about the science. Flat BA just wants to know if he can go ride the coal mine train. He loves that train.

-Dana
P.S. Larger versions viewable if you click on the pics.

5- Announcing the Birth of Flat BA!

FBA can be camera-shy.
But here's a picture of his little motorcycle patch.
There will be pics of him soon enough.
*Wink*

--Dana

4- *Smile for the Camera* FAB in CA

As promised, here are some better shots of me and the guys.
Wanda was right. Sgt. Chris wouldn't let me really drive the car, but he did let me pretend to. And, work his computer! (Er, I can't remember, were we at the donut shop?)

Chris, thanks again for letting me go on patrol with you and JC.
And, Jean Claude, thanks for getting my "good side."
--Flat AB
P.S. - Click on the pics for a nice large versions.

3- On Patrol with Chris Cognac and Jean Claude Dhien

Hey everybody!
I'm having a blast in California.

Last night I was on patrol with Sgt. Chris Cognac and Jean Claude Dhien. You might know Chris Cognac from his Food Network show The Hungry Detective or recognize him from his appearances as a judge on Iron Chef America. Oh, and he was in Season 1 of Feasting on Asphalt. The busy guy also writes for his local paper and has a website called The Culinary Detective. And, this week, you can catch Chris as a participant on the new NBC gameshow Amne$ia.

Jean Claude Dhien has been the photographer for Seasons 1 and 2 of Feasting on Asphalt and his photos will be available in the new book Feasting on Asphalt:The River Run, due in book stores around March 26th. I hear that he's also a trained chef, too.

(No, Wanda, I didn't drink any of his fancy French wine.
But, I did make fun of his French accent just a little bit. )

Jean Claude is really talented - please don't judge the quick shot above. We just used Chris' phone for that one. Hopefully, I'll be able to share some nicer photos in a few days.

And, with any luck, Chris and JC will write up some fun stories from patrolling.

It was good hanging out with the guys :)
OK, I'm off to Chicago next!
To meet the real AB.

My kinda town, Chicago is.

--Flat AB

2- Off to CA! *Whatcha gonna do, when they come for you?*

Hey boys and girls -
Seems this Dana girl is taking on the role of agent for me.

Agent?!
Ha - does that mean I get PAID?
Oh, she's more of a travel agent, I guess...

Anyhoo, she is sending me on an all expense paid trip to...

*drumroll*
Hawthorne, California!

Wanda, my designer, packed my bags and sent me off via Overnight to meet up with some hungry detective out there. With any luck I'll be chowing down on some massive burgers with lots of shrapnel. *wink*

Hopefully, there will be pics. I'll try not to get too tan.
I won't be able to stay too long. But, I'm looking forward to it.

Here's what Wanda had to say today...
When she walked me up to the airline gate.

Alright, Flat AB. I'm allowing you to go out on your first ever unsupervised vacation. I've arranged for you to stay with some of my friends along the way. Best behavior, please, and mind your manners.

Your first stop will be with my friend, Sgt. Cognac. If you are good, he might let you hit the siren and lights in his patrol car. No, you may NOT play with his weapons (and watch it if he says it's okay for you to play with the pepper spray ammo.)

Smile nicely for Jean Claude. He's a fabulous photographer, so I'm sure he'll get your good side (really, though, you only have one good side.)

Be good, Flat AB, and have fun. I'll miss you and look forward to you coming home and telling me all about your travels.
--Wanda

So, that's it, kids.
I'm off work on my tan.
--Flat AB

1- Well, Helloooo There!

Just a quick PSA to stay hydrated!

Actually, let me introduce myself.
"Hi, I'm Flat AB!"

Why, you may ask, do I travel the globe?
Well, I might be short in stature, but I'm long in friends.

My first trip was to Disneyland, years ago. Wanda and her son were heading there and Flat Stanley just seemed so...”bo-ring.” Now, I usually hang out with food-loving folks called Briners. Oh, it's so much fun being with people who appreciate the same things as you. We babble about brining, discuss the finer points of dicing and the entanglements of protein when the heat is on.

And, sometimes we talk about things like bacon comes from piggies and chickens have no fingers!

Now I've launched head-long into my own "little adventure" – meeting Briners throughout the nation – cooking and playing with their kids – and traveling between cities. And, meeting the real AB where I can. Basically, feasting on friendships.

Recently my brother, Flat BA, joined the venture. Sometimes we travel together, sometimes not. (BA can only take so much brotherly bonding.) But, as long at the there's a open road, an airplane, or a strong gust of wind...we'll be exploring.

And, we’ll write home soon!
So, stay tuned.

Same flat time, same flat channel.
--Flat AB